is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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