so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
