There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
