i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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