That's intense
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
