Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
