Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
