im so drunk with asians
where?
always
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
