I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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