I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
