haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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