operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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