I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
