maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
