I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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