We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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