feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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