Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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