when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize