im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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