why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
