It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
