Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That accounts for only three of the penises
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
