yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
