That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
