i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
