So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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