I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
