you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
