Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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