I am in a vortex of obligation.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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