is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
