Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The ass gains better be worth it
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