I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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