He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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