i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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