You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
