You're completely useless in the revolution.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
