she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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