omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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