I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
