Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
