I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
