He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
