Im at strip club and am horny
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
