You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
