it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize