Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
