I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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