i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
