Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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