Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
