Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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