I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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