I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
