I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
