I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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