So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
