I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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