His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
