we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
