it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry my hands just texted you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
