He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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