haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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