Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
