i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
