i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
