So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
