I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
