fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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