Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
