no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
